


Three felonies is the charm

by Centifolia



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Banter, But it is just mentioned, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dialogue Heavy, F/M, Fix-It, Flash Forward, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magic Revealed, Marriage Proposal, Minor Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), also only mentioned, oc child - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:49:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27669119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Centifolia/pseuds/Centifolia
Summary: “What kind of proposal?” Merlin looked surprised“Marriage proposal naturally!” Arthur smiled even brighter“Well, sort of a marriage proposal” Arthur continued for the open-mouthed Merlin. Now blushing slightly  “You know: Patroclus and Achilles, Alexander and Hephaestion, like proposal of trusted male companion of the king in both hearth and soul.” … “and body” he added more softly
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 55





	Three felonies is the charm

**Author's Note:**

  * For [illutile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/illutile/gifts).



It was a sunny day in Camelot when Arthur had decided to tell Merlin the great news. He even studied and read up upon this difficult subject and found some examples of how to work with this. He knew it was time for marriage

He sent Merlin a letter to meet him at once. And several hours later Merlin arrived.

“Arthur, you called for me? Very officially too, I mean it is not every day that I get told by a maid that the cleric has delivered a letter to the tavern. When I get to the thus mentioned tavern, the barman mentions that he had just sent the barmaid to bring the letter back to Camelot. When I get back to Camelot the same maid as before tells me that the letter is now with Gaius. When I finally get to the letter and I open it: IT TURNS OUT TO BE FROM YOU AND IT TELLS ME TO COME TO THE SAME ROOM I WALKED OUT OF THIS MORNING.” Merlin answered calmly as a proper servant would.

“Wasn’t that an educational quest, the Holy Grail should be no problem after that” the king of Camelot asserted, like sending letters to someone 5 minutes after they leave the room is prim and proper kingly duties.

“Very educational, although due to this little trip I did not have had any time to prepare any meal for you today, your highness. But for something rivalling the importance of the holy grail that is naturally a worthy sacrifice” Merlin retorted quickly regaining his composure 

“That is rather a regrettable sacrifice. Also, an unnecessary one because a better servant could have gotten food from the tavern where he went to pick up the letter” Arthur looked smug as he pointed at Merlin “Seeing as you failed this crucial part of the quest I would suffice with your food for the day so that safes you preparing a meal.”

Merlin sighed he had eaten something in the tavern when he ran into Elliot over there and he invited him to hear how Gwen was doing. He sighed again. Arthur could just have asked for some food without him having to magically read his mind, but such was the servant life. 

“So that was the point then, for me to get your food?” Merlin asked resigned at the useless task he had just performed. It wasn’t too bad but just pointless.

“Not only that. But also to get you in a good mood for my proposal of course!” Arthur answered, “I know you love the tavern so much you barely live there.” He slaps Merlin on his back laughing. 

“What kind of proposal?” Merlin looked surprised 

“Marriage proposal naturally!” Arthur smiled even brighter

Merlin stood there with his mouth agape. Not anything in the world was as surprising as this proposal and that included meeting life dragons, bringing the dead back to life and how much Arthur still believed the excuse that he was in the tavern when it was convenient. Did he love Arthur? Naturally. Would he exchange his own life for that of Arthur? Without a second thought. But would he marry the king of Camelot and life happily ever after? I mean…

“Well, sort of a marriage proposal” Arthur continued for the open-mouthed Merlin. Now blushing slightly “You know: Patroclus and Achilles, Alexander and Hephaestion, like the proposal of the trusted male companion of the king in both hearth and soul.” … “and body” he added more softly 

“Didn’t they all die early?” Merlin shot back focusing more on the logical aspect of these questions rather than the emotional weight.. and physical aspect.. His face was now coloured beet red. 

“They died pretty romantically, but also early, yes. Don’t you know a lot for a servant” Arthur replied, defending his examples. Or maybe, now merlin mentioned it, he should have read up on some better examples. 

“I guess we could stay together forever and enjoy each others company, but if you won’t marry me won’t there be rumours? and what about heirs? I am quite confused” Merlin asked being quite confused. 

“Ah yes well, I need to marry a girl of course in order to produce heirs, it is of national importance Afterall” Arthur was looking away when talking

“So I was planning to propose to Gwen tomorrow” He adds more quietly. 

“So you tell me, to be your one true love companion but also that you will ask Gwen to marry you tomorrow.” Merlin frowned. He knew Arthur would marry Gwen eventually and he had accepted it. But now.. to be an official male companion with such intimacy that it would cause discussions between scholars and LGBQ communities for centuries. To be so official that it will be censored by prudes and lewded by musical writing history nerds and schoolgirls… Maybe that wasn’t the legacy that he wanted to leave and honestly, it was unfair why can Arthur love two people and he only one. He knew a king needed heirs, but still, he was a magic wizard he could demand something of equal value in return at least.

“Yes that is the plan” Arthur answered looking slightly awkward “It is of national importance after all.” He added

“Hmm, what if I come across some national importance and making physical love to it is the only solution?” Merlin asked, he would get an equal deal with Arthur, even though he understood his situation and he also wished all the love in the world to Gwen. He would not be only the concubine of the king.

“I am pretty sure that the law states that there is a death penalty on cheating on the king..” Arthur proclaimed looking suborn, Merlin guessed it was natural that Arthurs arrogance would be his downfall or hubris as would be the more proper language for an ancient greek-inspired male companion. 

“What about if I commit three different felonies on which the death penalty lays. Is there not a saying that goes: ‘fool me once death penalty, fool me twice death penalty, fool me three times Merlin gets to go free’?” Merlin asked looking as innocent as possible

“I am pretty sure that is not how the saying goes. I am also pretty sure that committing three felonies is not something to strive for! And also if you are my one true male companion do you really think you can get to three felonies without me finding out about the first one” He raised his eyebrow at Merlin. 

“Are you willing to bet that I can’t commit three felonies right under your nose, such a smart king would naturally give his poor servant concubine greek inspired one true male companion a letter of pardon in case he commits three felonies right under his nose. I mean it also wouldn’t look good on you if you didn’t notice.” Merlin both flattered and insulted Arthur at the same time.

Arthur was silent for a while before retorting, maybe it was a little difficult to manage being a proud king, not being made fun of and relenting for the person you care about the most in the world. 

“Fine if you want our servant concubine greek inspired one true male companion contract to include a clause that in case you manage to commit three felonies under my nose you get pardoned. Then fine, whatever helps you sleep at night, but one or two felonies and I find you, you are dead.” Arthur relented, but in the end, he seemed more relieved Merlin decided to agree to the proposal than that he looked upset about the extra clause 

“Well I take it, so yes Arthur I will be your servant concubine greek inspired one true male companion with one get out of triple felony free cart” Merlin laughed, honestly he loved the man, and honestly a contract isn’t necessary to prove that. And really while the triple felonies pardon card will probably come into handy, he was pretty sure Arthur loved him enough to at least lower the sentence to banishment rather than death. Not like actually dying to these death penalties would come so easy, but it is all about the emotional weight of a death penalty versus banishment. It just be hitting different. He didn’t feel like having to feel the rejection of being sent to death by his one true love king who also had a wife. Also, it made the marriage contract more fair. Arthur has a wife, he had a get out of the death penalty free card if he commits three felonies. 

After the contract was signed by the two of them he looked at his beloved, looking turned into staring. He stared at Arthur, his hair, his crown, his kingly gaze, his kinky gaze.. oh.. His kingly clothes, his kinky not clothes.. oh.. Well anyway, Merlin decided that being a servant concubine greek inspired one true male companion with one get out of a three times felony free cart to the hot king of England with a heath of gold, is maybe the best position in all of court life as he felt Arthurs strong embrace.  
…  
..  
Or maybe there are some better positions Merlin thought when their laying was interrupted by a noise from Arthur's stomach. And now Merlin was making food at 1 am while being sore all over. However, a smile never left his eyes even with all the complaining.  
And while in the coming years his smile would sometimes falter, it always returned when he layed in Arthur's arms within the walls of Camelot. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Many years have passed as the King of Camelot ruled fairly, his children born from the beautiful Guinevere brought the king joy, he loved his wife, he also loved his servant concubine greek inspired one true male companion with one get out of a three times felony free cart. Life was perfect.  
…

“Merlin!” Arthur said as he stormed through the door. His hair turning slightly grey due to the years, but his eyes just as kingly. 

“Yes?” Merlin asked “What can this humble servant do for you?” Merlin also had aged although the grey seemed to stay out of his hair for now 

“Why did a maid bring me a letter this morning to find you in the tavern, and when I went there the barman sent me to go find Elliot who sent me to Gwain which said that the letter had been returned to Camelot by a maid which when I finally read said to come see you IN OUR ROOM WHICH I JUST LEFT THIS MORNING.” Said Arthur in his kingly grace

“Payback is just as sweet 15 years after the fact, also a walk does you well, a king should stay in shape after all” Merlin replied voice lined with teasing.

“I am fighting fit!” Arthur yelled 

“But we want to keep it that way” Merlin retorted again 

Despite it all Arthur couldn’t help but feel glad that their banter still continued after all these years. And maybe he should go outside some more throughout the years there was more and more paperwork to be done after all. 

“Also I wanted to get you in a good mood because I have something important to tell you.” Merlin started speaking with care. 

Arthur felt some premonition creeping upon him, that his carefree mood would not last long. 

“Remember when you gave me the three felonies out of death penalty free card?” Merlin added

Arthur felt his stomach curl “Oh Merlin I swear to god.”

“Let's start with the first one: I have magic” He made a tada hand gesture. 

Arthur went to sit down, he was somewhat light headed “Magic?!”

“Like nice magic, like saving your life around 100 times the past few decades magic, like you were the one who profited the most of it in this kingdom magic and after all these years I thought I would confess it to you.” Merlin added solemnly looking Arthur straight in the eyes with an honest face.  
Arthur looked back in Merlins eyes and saw no deceit, and now he thought back maybe his arrow wound had healed surprisingly quickly and Merlin was surprisingly often able to safe him from falling debris for a servant with such scrawny arms and a slow reaction speed brain, and wait.. did he not proclaim that he was a magic user at some point… now he just felt silly..

“Aren’t you too stupid and a tavern lover to be a Magic user?” Arthur joked because joking is way easier than dealing with not having realized Merlin had magic for the past decades. 

“Most of the time I was doing magic stuff instead of going to the tavern but it was nice of you to believe in my cover so much” Merlin smiled relieved, his eyes were soft.

“Ah, I see” Arthur replied, the death of his parent was years ago already and even if Merlin had magic he was still Merlin, although maybe he should get to know him a little better. And probably tighten the background check on hiring new servants because accidentally getting a skilled magic user in the castle might not always work out well, like with Morgana.. 

“This is still only one felony in the end, Merlin if I remember correctly there is still a death penalty on that…” Arthur sighs “But I guess that saving my life so many times can get you a pass” Arthur smiles at Merlin and goes to pat him on the back

“Uhm actually.. there are some more felonies..” Merlin interrupted his grand gesture of forgiveness

“Merlin..” Arthur said wide-eyed 

“You remember Morgana?” Merlin continued

“Merlin!” Arthur repeated 

“Well I guess that I maybe managed to get her to calm down, and I what I gave her was only a fraction of the love I gave you” Merlin murmured 

“Merlin!” He walked towards his one true male companion who now also had ties to his sister who tried to take over Camelot, like some intense ties from what he heard.

“She just needed a friend who could help her with magic, she settled down in a nearby village, with just a little barrier that keeps the people inside adjusted to magic but they forget about it when they leave she settled down and we were thinking that maybe you would like to reconnect so tada” Merlin tada hand gestured for the second time while backing up from an angry-looking Arthur.

Arthur couldn’t handle this much information, Morgana had been chilling with Merlin for years and Merlin never told him! What was he supposed to be? Relieved, happy, angry, betrayed, thankful. Like what? One emotion was enough to handle. And all of this was on top of the fact that Merlin had magic!

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” that was all Arthur could muster from his confused emotional mouth. 

“It took some time to get the third felony going” Merlin replied. 

Arthur just stared at Merlin, for maybe half a minute 

“you see I-” Merlin tried to continue 

But Arthur just started laughing and laughing. Merlin apparently had magic. He was apparently a million times in dept regarding his life. Morgana was alive and well and just wants to be friends again. Honestly, how could Merlin shatter his life even more! Suddenly it was all hilarious to him. Where the people closest to him really so scared that he couldn’t handle lying for years to his face, although merlin did admit that one time he had magic, and having his believes about magic and evil shattered, al in the span of one conversation. Of course, he can he is the king of Camelot after all. The best king. 10/10 would be king again. He stopped laughing.  
Arthur kicked a nearby table which caused the vase with flowers to shatter. 

“Yes Merlin please tell me more shocking details about my life, family, castle and country”

Merlin stayed silent throughout this.

Arthur made some more inpatient hand gestures “Go on!” he yelled  
“Uhm you see” Merlin cleared his throat “Finding felonies is actually not so easy. Apparently co-parenting a dragon is not registered as a felony, and dressing as an old man to fool with the king neither” *cough* “Embryss” *cough*. 

“Dear God, Merlin!” Arthur exclaimed flopping down on his chair again while holding his hair

“Also cheating on the king although what we discussed in our initial contract- ” 

Arthur now stared very hard at Merlin with more intensity than trough either other reveals.

“- is not something I felt like doing when my one true male companion love is already the most wonderful being in all of time and space.”

Arthur sighed and sat back down in his chair, he really wanted to stay angry and not be pacified by Merlin's sweet words but it seems like his willpower was used up for today and Merlins sincere look in his eyes also seemed to douche the worst of his anger.

“Robberies, arson, murder and the like also didn’t really seem to polite.” Merlin sighed and a smile ghosted over his lips.

Arthur tried his best not to get sucked into his stupidly endearing face and he definitely was not curious which felony Merlin did consider to be in his moral compass.

“In the end, there is only one crime fitted for a magic warlord like myself” his smile grew wider as he refocused himself on Arthur. “Kidnapping the oldest son of the king of course!” 

“MERLIN!!” Arthur yelled. 

“No wait don’t execute me! I have a triple felony out of death free card!” Merlin yelled, “Let me explain!” 

Arthur was back at it again with an all-time high of adrenaline. “Be quick about it!” He demanded 

“Your son is fine, it took so long to get this felony because that guy is really stubborn, no wonder.” Merlin pointed at Arthur who just looked confused and still very pissed. “Uhm anyway, It took me years to bribe him to let hem get kidnapped to play a prank on you.” 

“Bribed? Prank?” Arthur felt like he had enough pranks played on him for the rest of his life.

“Was this all a cruel prank Merlin, no magic, no Morgana, no kidnapping?” He asked filled with false hope 

“Oh no it is all very real” Merlin added showing his magic by restoring the table and vase “But your son was informed and royally compensated. Well just in on the kidnapping part I haven’t told anyone else that I have magic” 

Arthur just sat down again. “Is this the last part, let's just get my son and then I’ll think about a suitable punishment”

“Oh no Arthur the kidnapping is also real, I’m keeping him at Morgana's place until you exchange your promise to pardon me three felonies” Merlin grinned.  
Arthur just sat in silence for a bit, did he, Arthur Pendragon the king of Camelot, ever get fooled to this extend. He remembered how in the draft of there long name practically marriage contract Merlin had stated that he would look foolish if someone got to commit three felonies under his nose. Could he forgive this Merlin magic mess and the Morgana Merlin magic mess? He looked at Merlin. Maybe decades of friendship, and something more, and saving his life multiple times would earn him a pardon from the death penalty. Also, his face looked still very good. Wait.. was that magic too or did Merlin actually have good genes. Although He decided that he would punish Merlin so much that he wished he could have the death penalty. Yes. He felt good about this decision, it would let him keep his pride and bride by future historians debated relationship debated male companion. And make sure Merlin wouldn’t keep secrets from him anymore.

Arthur nodded “I get the contract, and will pardon you. Because you Merlin, have managed to commit three felonies: having magic, harbouring a fugitive and kidnapping the crown prince of Camelot, I, King Arthur of Camelot, will pardon thee for this crime when you return my son.”

Merlin smiled “You are taking this better than expected!” 

“What did you expect from me? Breaking my promise? Banishing you? Haha, silly Merlin” Arthur added putting his hand around Merlin's shoulder now lead me to Morgana and then we will leave this whole mess.

“Well I mean, maybe, but I really am happy that you are not mad at me Arthur!” Merlin replied 

“Mad why would I be mad, being lied to for decades. I mean it would be reasonable for a less noble person than myself, but lucking I am oh so very noble” Arthur said voice dripping with sarcastic enthusiasm. 

“I do really think you are a good and noble King Arthur, even if you are angry with me” Merlin's voice sounded clear with sincerity  
Arthur became quiet, even in his sarcastic pettiness he could only be sincere in return.

“And I am really glad you told me, Merlin, I really am. It must have been hard”

Silence fell once again as the two men looked at each other.

“Yeah” was all Merlin could reply after a while and even magic couldn’t seem to stop the droplets falling from his eyes.

Arthur pulled Merlin in an embrace which continued for either an hour or a minute as both men were processing the previous conversation and tried to find peace in their heads and found comfort in each other's arms.  
Arthur broke the silence. “Let's go get that son of mine who got so carelessly kidnapped.”

“He probably annoyed his kidnappers to death already” Merlin chuckled 

“Better safe them too, would be too bad to lose Morgana just when she has turned her life around,” Arthur added as they went to leave the castle. He guessed that all in all, all these revelations weren’t too bad. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Not bad?! NOT BAD?! Arthur took back his words, yes he guessed that Merlin did mention co-parenting a dragon. Which he didn’t blame himself for skipping over with all the revelations he had to take in. 

And he could handle seeing a dragon on this crazy day but WHY WAS HIS SON RIDING IT?! 

“MERLIN!!” Arthur shouted 

“Well he does seem lively” Merlin answered 

Gwen who after hearing that her son had gone missing and demanded to come to get him was almost just as helpful as Merlin. “He does seem like a talented boy, he might even be more impressive than his father.” 

Arthur sighed why did he love these two with all his heart again. 

“Look, Dad, I am riding a dragon!” His son yelled, and with that was mentally added to the list of troublesome people he would lay his life down for without a second thought.

“He is a spirited boy” Morgana added to the conversation, I wonder who he got that from.

He felt like the next few years would be some exhausting ones and very deep inside he was looking forward to it. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------

But first..

“Merlin it seems that the dining hall needs some attention” Arthur yelled from his bedroom. 

“Yes, my lord” Merlin replied. 

Yes, revealing he had magic had gone far more smoothly than he could have imagined in his wildest dreams. Yes reintroducing Arthur and Morgana had been a success with a little help of Gwen and her son.. and the dragon. Yes, Arthur still loved him and maybe magic would become more widely accepted.  
But just maybe, just maybe, the death penalty wouldn’t be so bad.

“Ah it seems my bed has become unmade, also do I hear the horses throwing a fit, shouldn’t they have lunch Merlin” Arthur called again

“Yes, my lord” Merlin replied

It was a far too cruel punishment, even Morgana had never been that cruel, some torture he could handle but this.. Merlin lamented

“Ah Merlin, remember to clean the silverware by hand it would be more appropriate don’t you think” Arthur said while passing him in the hallway. 

Merlin sighed

“I don’t hear a yes Merlin” Arthur added

“Yes, my lord..” Merlin replied reluctantly

“Good” Arthur looked so pleased with himself 

Merlin continued his mental lament. How could he! The king, the man he loved, how could he! Firing all the staff because Merlin with his magic was at least word a 1000 servants. It was too much even for him. Maybe he understood that Arthur could be a little mad at him. So he did what he was told but all this work was worse than torture! 

“Merlin, the food needs to be cooked!”

Merlin could only thick back at how easy life was without everyone knowing he had magic..

..

..

After three days Merlin collapsed from magic overuse, and the staff returned from their vacation. Arthurs rule continued to be fair, and major problems in England could now be solved by magic and some dragon intimidation. It was a long and prosperous reign. 

Arthur thought his children bravery and diplomacy. Gwen thought them perseverance and grace. Merlin thought them loyalty and humility. Morgana thought them the cost of the crown and mischievousness. The history never told if either of them thought them magic but even now some of the British royalty live suspicious long lives.

However after Gwen passed and Morgana disappeared, Arthur said goodbye to his children and walked with Merlin towards the mountains. They say that sometimes two boys could be spotted in the villages near them matching the description of King Arthur and Merlin in their younger days. But that could simply be some old folks tales.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading the fic! it is actually the first one I ever wrote so :D. Hopefully, everyone wasn't too OOC.


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